Wednesday, November 20, 2013
When I first started this blog there was no real goal for me besides posting information on topics that interested me - and hopefully others - as well as snippets of my writing creations (poetry, fiction, etc). Well, within the last few months I have developed much more clarity on what I want to share on this internet space of ours and what I want this blog to represent...I can't wait to share it with all of you! I want to use this brief hiatus wisely towards enhancing the blog and re-launch it with BIGGER and BETTER content, all for your viewing pleasure.
I'm excited for what the future of this blog holds and I hope you will love it just as much as I do! So, until we meet again - a.k.a until December time - I must say, in my best Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Terminator voice, "I'll be back." (replace the stern look and gun from the photo above in your minds with a smile and a delicious burrito in hand from me instead:)
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Heeeeeeeyyyyyy lovelies! Happy Wednesday! I hope you are all having a happy and fulfilling week. Now I know I normally post my randoms on Wednesday but I wasn't really in the mood for that today...it can get a tad bit boring doing the same thing all the time, even for a happy creature-of-habit like myself, so I decided I would let you in to another part of my world instead, storytelling. As I've already said before, I love all mediums of storytelling (fiction, poetry, film, songs, food - yes, food tells stories too) and I love writing myself. Below is a somewhat comical story I wrote about the sometimes-unexpected-trials of relationships (in this case a Naija one). Enjoy:)
Chidi smiles at her. Thank goodness for that. All these other shameful I-be-feminist-so-I-no-dey-cook girls don annoy me finish.
Chidi: Na you biko!
Na Me And You
Chidi unlocks the door with his key and walks into his apartment. The delicious smell of onugbu soup fills his nostrils. Ah yes, Paulina has created yet another culinary masterpiece. Chai, why does she have to be so good in the kitchen? And so good in bed for that matter. It will make tonight all the more difficult. Well, let me at least chop first; it’s been a long day at the bank.
Paulina: Chidi? Is that you darling?
Chidi: Yes baby, I’m home. The food smells fantastic. You have done it again o!
Paulina: Just for you babe! You know I make sure my man eats right.
Chidi: Na you biko!
Chidi takes off his jacket and plops on the couch in the living room. He turns on the TV to ESPN; Serena is outperforming in another tennis match, as expected. Paulina walks over to Chidi with a tray of fufu and soup.
Paulina: Here you go sweerie…sweet soup for my sweet man.
Chidi: You dey spoil me you dis girl!
Paulina: Hahaha. Stop it baby. You know I love you now. Why won’t I spoil you small?
Chidi smiles and gives Paulina a small kiss on the lips. Paulina sits down on the couch next to Chidi. Before Chidi can put one ball of fufu in his mouth Paulina interrupts his happy moment.
Paulina: Sweerie, I forgot to remind you this morning before you left but I need $5,000.
Chidi does not look up from his food. Here she goes again with her gold-digging nonsense.
Chidi: For what Paulina?
Paulina looks at him in shock.
Paulina: Are you really asking me that kind of question? Look at my hair. Don’t you see how old it is? Look at my nails, they’re a mess. Look at my phone, it’s not good anymore. Everything needs to be changed!
Chidi looks her up and down in annoyance. Is this girl mad?
Chidi: Paulina, is that not the same hair you fixed last week?
Paulina: Yes? So what? It’s too old, I’ve had it for over a week! No self-respecting girl carries the same hair for over a week!
Chidi: Is it not the same new BlackBerry I bought you a month ago that you’re carrying?
Paulina: And so what? The newest BB Torch just came out a few days ago. Do you want me to be the only one carrying this archaic phone and embarrass myself in front of my friends?
Chidi stares at her with a quizzical look on his face. Archaic? Why is she sounding so local all of a sudden?
Chidi: Paulina, I cannot give you $5,000. I don’t have it.
Paulina jumps up from the seat.
Paulina: What! Chidi! Are you mentally alright? Is this your plan to punish me? All my friends have boyfriends that are dropping cash with no questions and you are here acting like one wicked slave master! Give me my money jo!
Chidi: Be quiet Paulina, you are shouting too much. I do not have anything to give you.
Paulina shakes her head and her hands fly in the air.
Paulina: Chai! What kind of trash is this? Ewoooo, oh my goodness. So you’re cheating on me! You must be cheating on me, that’s why you don’t want to give me my money o! Who is the harlot you have been sleeping with? Who is the girl you have been spending my money ration on? Slut!
Chidi: You are running mad. I’m not cheating on you. In fact all of this is too much for me. I was going to tell you this later but I don’t have energy to continue even one more second of this. Paulina, I’m breaking up with you.
Paulina: Excuse me????
Chidi: I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. You are too much. Every morning I wake up it is “Chidi, give me money for this…Chidi, give me money for that.” You are too money-hungry! I won’t lie I enjoy your food and the sex is good but you are too much of a headache! If I stay with you soon I will not have a penny left!
Paulina sits back down on the couch.
Paulina: Chidi, you don chop serious craze. You, breakup with me? E no go happen.
Chidi's mouth drops.
Chidi: I thought you said you didn’t speak pidgin English when I met you?
Paulina: Hahahahahaha! Dunce. And you also believed me when I said I was raised in Abuja abi? Let me shine small knowledge for your daft eye. I be original Delta girl. I dey eat pidgin for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Na Warri brothers raise me. If you think say you go do me anyhow, you go see serious suffering now.
Chidi looks at her with disgusted shock. What nonsense have I entered here?
Chidi: Paulina, get your things and leave my house.
Paulina: Na lie.
Chidi: Paulina, get your things and leave my house now.
Chidi rises up from the couch and shouts in Paulina’s face.
Chidi: Get out of my house now!
Paulina jumps up and gets in Chidi’s face.
Paulina: You are mad. Where do you think I will go? Which car do I have? I am not going anywhere. Na me and you go stay for this apartment. In fact, na me and you go die here sef.
Chidi: Get out!!!
Paulina: I no go go. Na me be your girlfriend. Shebi you wanted my body? You don get am. Now you go have am forever. Next time you will learn how to close your eye when you see as fine girl dey pass. Idiot.
Chidi's mouth drops as he looks at the serious look on Paulina's face. Oh god! Why me?
Chidi: Are you mad? Have you gone insane
Paulina: Na now you don figure that one out? Daft. I dey mad since.
Chidi: Paulina, if you don’t get out now I will beat the hell out of you here!
Paulina starts clapping her hands and grabs the knife on the kitchen table.
Chidi: Heh! You dey point knife at me?
Paulina: Biko, beat me Chidi! Beat me! If you lay one of those your dirty fingers on me I will kill you in this apartment. Do you hear me? I go knife you here. You don forget I be Warri girl. Don’t try me.
Chidi: Oh my god!
Paulina: Abeg shut up and sit down. You better settle down and eat your food, the soup don cold.
Chidi looks at her in shock and sits down.
Paulina is still with the knife in hand pointing it at Chidi.
Paulina: Eat my food jo before I knife you here!
Chidi: Ok, ok, sorry! I’m eating it.
Chidi dips some of the fufu in the cold soup and puts it in his mouth.
Paulina: Ehe. Good, good. Shebi it’s tasty?
Chidi is silent.
Paulina: No be question I ask you Chidi! I go knife you now o!
Chidi: Yes! Yes! It is sweet.
Paulina: Good, now that’s better.
Chidi continues eating slowly.
Paulina: I dey go inside the bathroom. I never shower since morning preparing this your food. By the time I come out my money go dey for table abi?
Paulina: Good boy. I will keep the knife with me for now. Just in case your mind turns stupid again.
Paulina walks into the bathroom with the knife in her hand and turns on the shower. As she's undressing to get in she yells out.
Paulina: Oh, Chidi honey?
Paulina: Na me and you forever sweerie. Na me and you.
Chidi is frozen in response. Na me and her? Na me and her! Chai! All this because I followed yansh? How will I survive this one now? god save me o!!!
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Hello lovely ones! How are you doing? I hope your week is going as well as you'd like it to. I'm back again for another Wednesday Randoms Day with some more nuggets of course. Read 'em and enjoy.
- I have a tendency to refer to really close friends by their last names. For example, if your name is Josie Johnson and I'm addressing you I would say "Hey Johnson!" as opposed to "Hey Josie!" Don't ask me, I just prefer it this way.
- I don't like it when a guy I've just met and exchanged numbers with sends me a text asking me to send him a picture...and then has the nerve to get mad when I say no. Ahh! Really? Why are you so hungry for my photo? I might be off on this one but it feels so sleazy to me.
- "Twitter beefs" are hilarious to me. "Adults" are really sparring online...on Twitter? Biko, do better folks.
- I can't stand cigarettes (and their foul smell!) but whenever I'm at a hookah spot I enjoy a puff or two...or fifty. Weird right?
- I find it so upsetting when I say "hello" or "good morning" to someone and they either look at me with irritation or completely ignore me...how rude! Some people make it so hard to be decent to them...they really do, smh.
- I love the Hallmark Channel. They show some of the best feel-good movies filled with stories of hope and happiness...especially during the holiday season. I'm excited for the movies coming this Thanksgiving and Christmas:)
- My quote of the week: "Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace." - Robert J. Sawyer. Truth! Ignore the ways people have wronged you...ignore your need to control everyone and everything...ignore the things that make you unhappy...gain peace.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Happy Wednesday Randoms Day lovelies! How is your week going? I hope it's been a productive and happy week for you all so far. I'm back, on schedule I might add, with some more randoms of course just for your viewing pleasure...enjoy:)
- Everyone seems to be on a serious health kick but me. I mean hard-core gym dedication, no-carb eating, juicing, etc...even my sis Ify has become a borderline fitness fanatic! Smh, one day I will join...just not today /:
- Back-handed compliments irk my soul...i.e. "Your purse is so cute...that's the same one selling on ebay for $10 right?" or "You look so good now girl...wow, you used to be so fat o!" Ahhhhh! People can be so darn rude and mean...honestly, it's always best to keep your half-baked "compliments" to yourself.
- I'm not that invested in this season of Scandal like I was in the past...sorry Scandal-lovers! I am honestly tired of the Olivia-Fitz saga and their inability to exercise any real self-control, smh.
- Speaking of shows-created-by-Shonda-Rimes, I hear Sandra Oh is leaving Grey's Anatomy. Nooo! Sandra plays Dr. Christina Yang on the show and her character is just as crucial to the story and success of the show as the lead, Dr. Meredith Grey, is. What am I going to do without my ball-busting Yang?
- I want a Mac...I want a Mac...I want a Mac!!! I think you get my point lol
- My quote of the week: "Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young." - Henry Ford. There was a time when I had stopped learning and was so set in my ways that I figured I really knew it all...ha! The more I open myself up to learning and experiencing life in a grateful way, the more I realize I know next to nothing.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
I did it again lovelies. I let another Wednesday pass without posting my randoms...shame on me! In all fairness I was feeling pretty unwell yesterday, still am actually, and I just wasn't up for blogging. I couldn't let another day pass though so I am here with my randoms for the week...I hope you enjoy 'em.
- I don't like feeling sick...yuck! The fever, cough, sniffles, the whole nasty shebang.
- I watched the TLC biopic on Monday and I think the girls (Keke Palmer, Lil Mama, Drew Sidora) did a really good job. I'm always intrigued by the stories behind the musician (s) we see performing on stage full of energy and charisma. It reminded me of another amazing biopic that I loved so deeply, the 1992 mini-series The Jacksons: An American Dream. Gosh, that was a great one!
- My quote of the week: "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." - The Dalai Lama. Compassion is the understanding or empathy for others. I 100% agree that we need compassion in our lives to be happy. I mean, if we don't have compassion for one another and the ability to forgive when we wrong each other, then what makes us different from animals? Like kindness, compassion begets compassion. The more compassionate you are to others the more others will be compassionate towards you. I've made it my personal mission to become more compassionate, which isn't always easy but I believe well worth it.
- I've been attending a weekly screenwriting meetup on Saturdays and I LOVE it!!! Being around people that are as obsessed with storytelling as I am, learning from them and sharing our personal work with each other for constructive feedback, it's the best!
- I am terrible with checking my voice mail. Honestly, you might leave me a voice mail today and I probably won't check it 'til at least a week later! Smh.
- I dream of food...I mean I seriously dream of being in countries and continents I haven't visited, sitting down in swanky restaurants, eating their delicious food. Is that gluttonous or what? Smh.
- I might be the only gal on the planet without an Instagram account. Don't shoot! I'm just not that into photos and selfies and the sort...maybe one day.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Hola, hola, hola! Happy Wednesday Randoms Day everybody! I'm sure you're all familiar with the drill now so let's get right into it lovelies:)
- "I've been wanting" or "I been wanting"...no, no, no! Let me give some examples...Incorrect: "I been wanting to talk to you about my research paper." Correct: "I wanted to talk to you about my research paper."
- I'm ashamed to say it but I am a procrastination princess...ahhh! Someone please make it stop. I constantly put important things off and always feel convinced I will have enough time to attend to the task later, even though I know better! Seriously, if you have any practical solutions to combat this nuisance behavior I'd love to hear it lovelies.
- I think it's funny how ladies seem to always want a guy when he's taken by another gal or unavailable (I've been guilty folks). Why didn't we want him when he was free as a bird and nobody was chasing him?
- I don't understand how some people can operate on no sleep or few hours (like 2-4) of sleep...not moi! I am one of those that NEEDS 6-8 hours of sleep to be fully functional. If I have only 3 or 4 hours of sleep I will honestly move through the day feeling like I'm drunk.
- I am scared at how obsessed more and more people are becoming with plastic surgery...even young teens!
- My song of the week is "Raise Your Glass" by Pink. "So raise your glass if you are wrong...In all the right ways, all my underdogs...We will never be (never be) anything but loud! Won't you come on (come on) and raise your glass!" Ah, I don't have to tell you that I jump up for this song too. I'm a fan of Pink's music and this is just another song of hers that I absolutely love.
- My quote of the week: "Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." - Lord Byron. Agreed! There are truly few things I enjoy and love more than genuine, unpredictable, delicious laughter. No matter how bad I might feel at any time or in any situation, a good laugh can always lift my spirits.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
It's Wednesday Randoms Day lovelies! I hope you're all having a mostly happy, productive week. I'm back again with some more personal, juicy nuggets for you. Enjoy!
- I love Wheat Thins...they are about the only whole grain snacks I can think of that I love.
- I really think different brands of water taste different from each other. Some people say all water is the same and has no taste but I can definitely taste the difference between Kentwood and Dasani and pick Kentwood everytime...Dasani is ugh.
- I don't like grocery shopping...at all. I love to eat but I don't want to get up and buy the food? Where do they do that one? Smh.
- I've never ridden a bicycle before...shocking right? Especially since we actually had them in our home growing up but just never rode them lol
- Isn't Shazam just the best app ever? One second I hear a song I like on the radio, totally clueless as to the name of it or the artist who sang it, and the next second I've clicked on my Shazam icon on my phone and gbam! Name of song + name of artist pop right up on the screen, just like that.
- I don't understand how some people don't rinse their mouths with water after brushing their teeth...instead you just go around with leftover toothpaste in your mouth? I don't get it y'all.
- I can read or watch interviews on filmmakers (writers/directors/actors) pretty much all day...considering I want to be one that isn't so weird right?
- A few days ago I was at work with my sister Nikki and I heard her give a compliment to a woman passing by about either her outfit or her shoes. The surprise and undeniable gratitude in the woman's voice as she thanked my sister almost took me aback...it was palpable. Give more compliments lovelies, it really brightens up peoples days.
- "The disturbers of happiness are our desires, our griefs, and our fears." - Samuel Johnson. Agreed! So many times we choose not to be happy because we have too many insatiable desires that can not all be met or we are holding on to pain from our past or because we are too afraid of our future to take necessary, productive action in our lives. Don't get consumed by this life peeps...try to hold on to happiness at all times as best as you can.
- My song of the week is "Umqombothi" by South African singer Yvonne Chaka Chaka. "I work hard every day...to make my beer, Umqombothi. Wake up early every morning...to please my people with African beer, Umqombothi." Now the lyrics may sound a little bit funny since it's seemingly about beer but I assure you once you hear this song you will most likely add it to your playlist. It has such an uplifting and powerful melody to it, like many South African songs I love, and you will probably be dancing within the first few seconds of listening to it. It was also featured in the movie Hotel Rwanda, which I am yet to watch (not for long!).
- "15 Signs You're Dating A Boy, Not A Man"
- 5 Tips To Enjoying Your Single Life Past 25
- Stop Letting People Steal Your Joy!
- 5 Questions Every Successful Person Has the Answer To
- Ten Laws of Attraction for Men
- Did I really NOT get married at 25?
- Thank You Lovelies!!!
- Will The Real Set Of Teeth Please Stand Up?
- Liebster Award!!!
- Ten Things I Dislike that Women Say